yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
