No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
