We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
