and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
they call him Oral-B. enough said
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
