At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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