An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
