We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
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I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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