I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
