I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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