I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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