awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
