i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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