i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
