Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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