What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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