So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize