Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?