the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.