All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.