this just has baby written all over it
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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