i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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