dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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