you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize