So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
