is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
