just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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