I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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