Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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