also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.