FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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