coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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