sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
