I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
