Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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