Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
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He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
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NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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