I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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