Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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