i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize