he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
