Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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