I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
