He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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