he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
