guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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