I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize