Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize