I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
