can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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