please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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