bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
