just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize