Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
