You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
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She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
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He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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