Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
