If that was your dad, he is hot
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
