That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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