no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
