I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
